Of course, I realized I might always stay a deliveryman. Even worse, I knew I could even lose that. I might lose my brochure clients and then Id be a complete zero. Even when things started to get better, I was always aware that just one misstep and it could all be over.
When youve been on the bottom for so long, its hard to take success seriously. When people start calling you Mr. Jonas instead of Howard, its sort of surreal. When you see your picture on the front page of the New York Times or have people treat you with all kinds of respect because they read about you in Business Week or Forbes, its hard to take it seriously after so many years. Its strange that people think youre unusual because you dont lock yourself away in a fancy corner office, still wear blue jeans to work, and answer your own phone. Really, nothings changed from getting chased home from school, booed off the stage, or working as a deliveryman. But the breaks have gone my way, so the fantasies are becoming true. Still, I know only too well that it might not have gone that way and even now it could reverse. Thats why I find it much easier to relate to those whom society calls losers rather than the winners. Frankly, I think we have a lot more in common.
Sometimes, though, if you just keep on plugging, the world changes enough that those who were out of fashion or broke one day are suddenly in vogue and prosperous the next. By the end of high school, the political climate (and I) had both changed and I was elected student body president. Also, my little advertising business was starting to make what I felt (though largely in my fantasy world) was a good deal of money. The first thing I did on getting elected president was appoint all the kids nobody liked as committee chairmen. The first thing I wanted to do when I started making money was to give it all away to others who were still on the bottom of the heap. These were the people I really could identify with and wasnt going to forget now that things were a little better. Who knows, in the same position, maybe one of them would do the same for me. I started giving a lot to charity before I left high school.
I was reluctant, however, to give everything away. If I did, then how would I ever be able to save enough to invest and get really rich and really redress all the injustices in the world? But if I started to think like this, then maybe Id just become selfish and out for myself and just like all the people I didnt want to be like. This dilemma really bothered me.