There was only one problem. I didn’t want to deal with them. I knew enough about “connected” people from my hot dog days to know when to be careful. I didn’t want any partners. And I didn’t like any deals where I took the risk of paying for merchandise while getting only 25 percent of the profit. I did want to avail myself of their big publication discounts, however, and so I started to buy from them. (Who else could you buy from?)

When they saw the volumes I was doing, they kept pushing for a partnership, withholding valuable discount and remnant deals (bargain basement price on last-minute, unsold ad space) until I relented. Finally we made a deal. I’d let them run some advertising, but on every order I got the cost of merchandise before the money went into the ad kitty. Then once the ad was paid we’d split fifty-fifty.

The arrangement worked fine until I had to cut back on advertising because of my shipping problems. If I could only run a limited schedule, why not pay for everything myself and keep 100 percent? Sure, there’d be some risk, but I’d be making double the profit. The “agency” didn’t like my idea. I was jeopardizing their relationship with big periodicals. Pulling out now was just unacceptable, they said. “Fine,” I countered, “then pay me ninety percent of the profit and you can keep running the ads.”

“No way,” they said, “no one gets ninety percent.”

“Fine, then I’ll just place my own schedule.”

“We need to talk,” they said.

“Well, I’ve got exams,” I replied.

“Fine,” they replied. “We’ll come up and visit you, Perfessor.”

“You’re gonna visit me? At Harvard? You gotta be kidding!”

“Nah, business is business. The top guy and the boss’s son will be there next Wednesday.”

I should’ve been scared. Instead, I was excited. Wow! I was going to have visitors. Real visitors, not just local graphic artists or photographers. Important visitors. From New York. Guys with suits and ties who were going to take a plane and a limousine and come to visit me right in my dorm room. Now, this was exciting. I had to prepare. I had to clean up. I had to decorate. I needed hors d’oeuvres. I needed help. I called Debbie.